These Are the Things Your Kids Will Remember

Don’t feel pressured to create a perfect childhood. These are the things your kids will remember, and they’re simpler than you think.

Your Kids Will RememberA mere toddler, I remember running to my mom as she came through the front gates. I had been sitting on the steps with my brother and sister when I saw her squat down and stretch out her arms to give me a hug.

Memory works in funny ways. They don’t form an overarching view or even play out like a two-hour movie. Instead, they’re little snippets—10-second sound bites—we tuck away in our minds.

Now that my own kids are older, I wonder what memories they’ll remember well into adulthood.

Will it be today, when we were lounging on the blanket spread on the floor, or the times I sat on the couch with my phone while they were playing with cars? I’ll stop what I’m doing and wonder, “Is this a moment they’ll remember several years from now?”

This is what your kids will remember

What I learned is that memories don’t discriminate. They include both good and bad, the grand and small. We remember the big outings to an amusement park just as much as drawing pictures in the living room.

These memories you’re creating can come together and form an opinion of their childhood.

What won’t matter is if you worked zero, 20, 40, or even more hours in a week at your job. More than likely, they’re not counting. What they will remember is that you did what you thought was best for them. Sometimes you did the only thing you could do for them.

Don’t feel bad because you see your kids a few hours a day or beat yourself up because they’re not getting “enough stimulation.” We do what’s best, what we enjoy, or even what’s necessary.

They’ll remember the time you let them crawl in your bed at night because they couldn’t fall asleep, or playing in the kitchen as they pretended to cook alongside you. Small details like having a tea party or the special tradition of eating pancakes on weekends can stay with them for years.

Creating memories doesn’t always need grand plans or extravagant activities. We certainly don’t create and “finish” them. Instead, we continue to make them. Right now, you’re forming memories with your kids.

Hanging beautiful holiday decorations or back-to-school photos are fantastic, so long as you enjoy them and not because you feel obligated to.

Because putting pressure on yourself to create the perfect childhood might be remembered as just that: a parent too focused on creating potential memories instead of living them.

And forgive yourself for mistakes you may have made. You’re not alone, friend. We’ve all regretted doing something with our kids. Maybe it was losing our temper or choosing the computer over spending time with them.

Because here’s the thing: you’re likely harder on yourself than your kids are on you.

Kids are some of the most forgiving people I know. They don’t hold grudges because you both had a standoff earlier in the day. While you’re stewing about the tantrum your child had, she has already moved on from it.

Losing Your Temper with Your Toddler

Your kids will remember you

One of my favorite Maya Angelou quotes is this:

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Focus on the now. Enjoy your kids, whether you’re bouncing on the trampoline or playing with magnets on the refrigerator. The little things—and a lot of laughter—can form their memories. You never know—they just might remember something as simple as running into your arms as you walk through the front door.

Maya Angelou Quotes About Parenthood

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2 Comments

  1. My mother wasn’t a touchy person; I knew that she loved me & would always b there for me, but she wasn’t expressive. I remember one night (I don’t remember how old I was) I crawled into her bed & she hugged me so tight; & that’s how I fell asleep.
    With my kids I’m always hugging them. Because to me that hug was so powerful. & if I felt it they would too.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      I know what you mean. My parents weren’t the hugging type either, but there were many times when I’d crawl into my mom’s bed and sleep that way too. Like you, I’m much more expressive with my kids, making sure I hug them throughout the whole day. It really makes such a huge difference!