Many a time, I think to myself, “hey, you should blog today.” I agree with my brain’s line of thinking on that, but then I stop dead in my typing tracks. “Wait, what do I blog about?” It’s not that I don’t have SOMETHING to say, or write about (just ask my friends, I always have something to say, silence is a rarity unless I’m sleeping), it’s more like I wonder if what I’m considering blogging about is worthy. Would anyone truly care if I blog about the guy I saw biking down the street on my way home from my 5am run? Or, does it really matter if I like to watch reality shows simply because they are mindless and make me laugh? Yeah, you get the picture (right?).
So, my mind went a drifting this week (which it tends to do more times in a day than I could keep count of), and I wondered if I should blog about well, nothing. By nothing I mean ramblings of this or that and “hey, I’m here, but not sure what you want to know!” With that said, I’m standing tall (well, as tall as my 5’0″ frame allows me to) and just stepping outside of my comfort zone and just blogging. Or rambling….
The fact of the matter is, I’ve been tired. Yes, I’ve mentioned that particular issue before, but it’s an ongoing kind of deal for me. I can get up on a Saturday morning for a 5am run, get home two or three hours later, shower and then sleep and sleep and sleep. It’s kind of weird, you know? Then, I’ll randomly wake up and wonder what time it is. With much effort, I will manage to put myself in an upright position and try to convince myself that I should go do something. Sure, a nap is good for you, but when you never seem to feel refreshed after a nap or even sleeping at night, you wonder what’s going on.
This is basically the main reasoning behind my motivation hiccups. I’ll get myself excited and motivated to run, go to the gym, or the like and then afterwards be happy but not want to do much else. I WANT to be out doing things with friends and family, or writing many a blog post, but it just ends there 80% of the time, a want. Yeah, it pretty much stinks.
That all being said, I have and will remain optimistic and hopeful. Not only am I determined not to become a bed hugger (or hibernator), but I’ve got things to do and places to be darn it! There is already not enough hours, minutes and all that in the day. My to-do and dreaming of list are long and growing by the week, so I refuse to not be the best me that I can be. Instead, I count down the days until I go back to the doctor, which is six days from now. I pray that the good ‘ole doctor will have an “a ha” from my blood work (see, I’m optimistic!), and a treatment will begin forthwith. Hey, I’ve seen enough good-ending movies to dream and see the that light at the end of the incredibly scary and long dark abyss (or is it tunnel? I like the word abyss too). Life’s too short to not be hopeful, positive and dream!
Have you been dealing with a hurdle or hardship in your life? Tell me about it in the comments.
I hope your doc can give you some answers soon!