02 Apr Bullies in Sheep’s Clothing by Carol Storey
I was 16 when my grandfather died. He and my grandmother didn’t have much as far as material things. They rented a hundred acre farm, where he grew crops for the government. The most important thing he left behind was my grandmother. She was devastated, frustrated, confused, and very vulnerable.
My grandmother didn’t drive. She had never paid bills, wrote a check, probably didn’t have a bank account. Sadly, my grandfather had taken care of all the business dealings and never taught my grandmother how to be independent in the event he passed before her. I remember looking into her frightened eyes – it was like looking at a tiny child – bewildered, scared and not knowing what she was going to do. Her children began to care for her and teach her how to survive in the world she was now a part of off the farm. She knew how to run a household and cook, clean, and be a homemaker, but now she had to learn the business part of running a house. It was hard and she wanted to give up, but she didn’t.
It was around Easter when I finally realized how delicate she was. Everyone was rushing around getting their new frocks to wear to church on Easter Sunday, making sure everything matched, buying food for families who were coming to share the day with us. You see, she made her own dresses on an old ‘foot pump’ sewing machine. They were pretty but very simple. She asked me, “What in the world are all these people rushing about so?” I just don’t understand it,” she said. That comment made me realize how much more at 16 I knew than my grandmother in her 60’s.
It breaks my heart to see how our widows are being treated in today’s world. They are so fragile, like china cups. They’re confused enough by their grief and loss of sometimes many years of marriage and now they face each day alone. But, what breaks my heart the most is when I hear of widows being bullied into giving their inheritance away and now they need to consider that they must take on a job just to survive. This is sad! Eighty and ninety year olds should NOT be working to survive, in my opinion.
When spouses pass, their surviving spouse is left very vulnerable to those who would take advantage of them. Whether it’s a family member, a family friend or a potential business partner, we need to protect our older people. It is so easy to take advantage of them and not think about the consequences of their compassionate hearts to help others. There have been times, when ladies have given in to friends or family, even business partners, with the promise of “I’ll pay you back.” But, what happens in the day to day journey of these sweet ladies? (or men) There’s a greed that takes over and never thinks about the person who was compassionate and gave or let you borrow the money.
Please help our seniors live with dignity and posture and beware of those who take advantage of them. If you know someone like this, I am asking you to be brave enough to stand up for these seniors in their great loss. Don’t let them be robbed of their lifestyle and retirement. And, if you know someone who is in this situation, take the bully by the horns and challenge them to return what was not theirs to take. Preserve our Seniors dignity. Let them know you will take a stand for them. And teach them not to be bullied by phone calls, emails, text messages or in person those who would do them harm.
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