Books That Teach Social-Emotional Skills

To truly help our students succeed, we must acknowledge the socio-emotional aspects of learning. This post shares different books that teach social-emotional skills that can be used for inside and outside of the classroom.

Each book recommended here is a book that I have used to teach social-emotional skills not only to my students but also to my own son at home.

PLUS, I’ve included links to social-emotional distance learning tips below!


*This post contains affiliate links to Amazon for your convenience. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases, which do not cost any extra for you. Please see the full disclosure here.*



The news was such a shock to me that I could only sit there speechless as my principal described the incident to me.

In that moment, the only bits and pieces that stood out to me were: “He slammed a chair into the table, then ran out of the school screaming and crying. We tried our best, but we just couldn’t get him to calm down.” 

The clock clicked past another minute–3:47pm. I was supposed to be upstairs in the staff meeting with the rest of the teachers. Instead, I was sitting in the principal’s office listening to her tell me about my very own son.

Thankfully the story doesn’t stop there, so keeping reading for the big finale!


Why Do Teachers Need to Teach Social-Emotional Skills?


Teachers already have SO MUCH to cover in so little time!

Character education, social-emotional skills, growth mindset training–these are things that many educators feel need to be taught at home by the parents.

As a parent of a child who used to struggle to manage his own emotions, please let me openly tell you that WE DO!

I am a single parent who became a widow when my son was only 5 months old. (Read my full story here.)

I share my story with others in the hope that it will shed light on the variety of family situations that we may encounter as educators.

We parents try our very best to coach our kids through scenarios at home so that they are successful in school.

However, school and home are still two different places.

Children need direct instruction on how to thrive in a community WHILE they are still in that community!

Thankfully, I’ve sat on both sides of the table with this issue. As a mom and a teacher, I want to offer books that I’ve used to help my son and my students build better social and emotional skills.


Children’s Books for Social-Emotional Development


I’ve included links to each picture book below that will help you teach social-emotional skills in your class. The links make it easier for you to access the book. These are affiliate links, but it doesn’t cost you anything to use them.


Books That Teach Social-Emotional Skills:

 
Julia Cook writes amazing stories that go right to the heart of this issue. My Mouth is a Volcano teaches kids about blurting out and interrupting others. This book is great for ALL kids across grade levels.

My Mouth is a Volcano is one of the books from my Read Aloud with Rigor Series. Click the image here for more details.

my mouth is a volcano


Pin this post to your favorite Pinterest board to enjoy later!

Books that Teach Social-Emotional Skills 2

 

This is the first Bryan Smith book I read and I instantly fell in love with it! His books are very direct, but they present topics in a way that kids can relate to. My Day Is Ruined: A Story for Teaching Flexible Thinking can be used for growth-mindset teaching and how to cope with adversity.


The next three social-emotional read-alouds are also by Bryan Smith. Even though the main character of the first two is a boy, these books can easily be used to help girls as well.


Since the third one listed is about sports, I noticed that my male students and my son gained just as much from it as my female students!

  Of Course, It’s a Big Deal! : A Story about Learning to React Calmly and Appropriately by Bryan Smith

 What Were You Thinking? A Story about Learning to Control Your Impulses by Bryan Smith


This book about impulse control became especially helpful when my son had his “incident” of running out of the school screaming and crying.

Once we read it together, he calmly explained to me ways that he could have handled that situation differently.

 
If Winning Isn’t Everything, Why Do I Hate To Lose? by Bryan Smith

 I Can Handle It (Mindful Mantras Book 1)  contains affirmations that kids can put into practical use when they are struggling with a social setting or an emotional dilemma.

My favorite thing about this book is that it is FREE with the Amazon Kindle Unlimited Program. As I always mention in my posts about read-alouds, Kindle Unlimited has saved me SO MUCH money on books.

To find out how click here! 

Kindle Unlimited Reading-The Butterfly Teacher

 
Do Unto Otters by Laurie Keller stays in steady rotation throughout the school year for me. I also use it with the Golden Rule as a part of my classroom management system.

Related Post: How I Use the Golden Rule for Classroom Management

 

With so much emphasis on being kind, children can confuse their other legitimate emotions as being far worse than they are.

Students need to understand that we are all striving to be nice, but being mad or sad doesn’t make you a failure or a bad person!

Mad Isn’t Bad: A Children’s Book About Anger by Mundy Michaelene does a great job helping you teach that concept.


Social-Emotional Learning Books for Teachers and Parents


Understanding brain development in children AND effective pedagogy really helped me with this topic.

I learned practical ways to help my students socialize appropriately and manage their emotions well with these social-emotional learning books for teachers listed below.

 Jim Fay and David Funk’s approach to classroom management continues to be controversial, but I have followed their strategies and ideas for YEARS! Plus, you know from my bio that I’ve taught different grade levels. Their principals in Teaching with Love and Logic have worked with me in each grade I’ve taught!

 Their companion guide: Parenting with Love and Logic is a great read also!

 
Anything that gives practical ideas–not just philosophy–is a winner in my book! That’s why I recommend 20 Ways to Implement Social-Emotional Learning in Your Classroom by Ka’Ren Minasian. 

 I could write an entire blog post alone about this book!

Children who need social-emotional skill training usually thrive in a structured environment.


That’s why I “preach” classroom organization and management tips throughout this site.

One of the best ways to achieve this is to directly teach procedures. Harry Wong’s First Days of School gives the best blueprint to help teachers with that!


How Do I Begin to Teach Social-Emotional Learning in My Class?


1- Decide What Your Students Need the Most Right Now


You cannot teach every skill all at once.

If you have more students struggling with blurting out and impulse control: then start there.

Or maybe you see an ongoing issue with poor sportsmanship during game-based learning, then focus your attention there.

Teaching social-emotional skills require you as the teacher (or homeschooling parent) to also be emotionally healthy! Don’t stress yourself out trying to do too much.


2- Infuse Social-Emotional Learning into Your Academic Content


Unless you work in a district or school that holds school all year long, then you only have 180 days with your students in the class.

Set a goal to “feed two birds with one seed!”

For example, I taught writing skills with social-emotional skills so that I could give my students practice with both! They were engaged with a topic that would help build character and establish classroom community, but they were also getting the necessary writing practice that they needed.

If you’re looking for a resource that combines social-emotional learning with academic content, you’ll love these Golden Rule task cards. This set also make a great companion to the book Do Unto Otters. Click the image for more details!


3-Don’t Be Too Proud to Beg!


Ok, you don’t have to beg! But it really is perfectly ok to ask for help. If your school has a guidance counselor, see what resources or mini-lessons he or she can pitch in. Form a plan of action with parent volunteers.

My co-teacher and I worked together to implement The Recovery Desk system from Teaching with Love and Logic by Jim Fay and David Funk.

She and I kept a desk in the back of both our classes and we allowed students who needed it to go there and calm down. It wasn’t a punishment or time-out. Many of our 4th graders used it to “get themselves together” and it worked beautifully.


4- Model Appropriate Social-Emotional Skills for Your Students


Strategies like The Recovery Desk that I just mentioned, were able to last in my classroom because I worked hard to remove the stigma that something was “wrong” with you if you couldn’t control your emotions.

When my son explained to me why he ran out of the school crying, the thing he kept repeating was, “Everybody kept staring at me like something was wrong with me.”

Although that episode was heavy for both of us, it made us stronger. It also helped me to be more transparent to him and to my students about the fact that grown-ups need emotional help too!

So I model that for them by doing yoga during some of our class brain breaks.

You don’t have to do a full, detailed lesson every single day modeling these skills for them. Consistent glimpses of your techniques are sufficient to help students learn social-emotional strategies that will work for them!

Do you have a favorite book or strategy that you use to teach social-emotional skills in your classroom?

If so, I am always on the hunt for more tools to add to my teacher toolbelt on this topic. Please be sure to share your goodies below!

Social-Emotional Distance Learning Tips for Teachers & Parents


Our 2020-2021 school year will look totally different for obvious reasons! However, one thing remains–the importance of social-emotional teaching, even through distance learning.

The million-dollar question is “how can we connect socially and emotionally with students while teaching during a pandemic?”

Each post shared below helps answer that question:

  • build classroom community online
  • social emotional distance learning ideas
  • racism-in-the-classroom
  • partner with parents distance learning


Thanks for transforming learning with me, beautiful butterfly!

The Butterfly Teacher
 
 
 

2 Responses

  1. Hi Tanya,

    I really found many ideas on your website helpful! I’m teaching a new grade this year (two) so I’m looking for new books and activities to add to my growing collection. So thank you.

    I just have one thing I’d like to point out…. you mentioned as your mom always said, β€œtry to kill two birds with one stone”. As a naturalist and environment lover I’m wondering if that quote needs to evolve? My husband came up with an alternate expression that I think is more friendly and compassionate. How about, β€œ try to feed two birds with one seed” ? We would love that expression to β€œtake flight”!!

    Cheers,
    Amy

    1. Amy,
      THANK you so much for the quote from your husband! My son started bird-watching this year since we were stuck at home way more. And we had a conversation about this cliche; I was thinking, “It’s a shame that we say this quote, but it helps people understand what we mean in fewer words.” Well, your revised idea works for me, so I’ve changed the cliche above!! πŸ™‚
      -Tanya

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