The exposure of robo-debt throughout the robo-debt royal commission has been explosive and truly unsettling. Even if you were not victimised personally by the illegal scheme, you would have to question the decisions made by ministers and highly paid public servants throughout their period in office. Some of them are still highly paid and in office, although surely not for very much longer.

The death of my son, Rhys, has been the subject of several days of evidence. Since the commission started, I have attended as often as I can. I go especially on days that certain ministers or high-level public servants will give evidence. From the public gallery, I am literally no more than two metres from these people. They have all been aware of my attendance and glance at me with a look of total disdain. I stare back and let them know I am not going anywhere.

When my son took his life on January 26, 2017, he was living in Melbourne. I flew from the Sunshine Coast the next day. I was shattered and frantically searched for anything to give me a clue as to why he took his life when he did. I collated any documents that may have required my attention. Included in these documents were the letters of demand from the debt collectors Dun & Bradstreet. On the fridge was a disturbing picture Rhys had drawn, of a man with a gun in his mouth and dollar signs coming through the top of his head. The words “Debt Lyfe” were written next to it.

At the time, I wasn’t aware of the robo-debt scheme. These documents raised my suspicions, however, that something was not right. With Rhys trying to manage his mental health, I knew these debts would’ve spun him out of control. As I investigated and became more aware of the scheme, I truly believed this is what caused him to take his life.

Rhys was a very gentle young man, very much loved by family, friends and work peers. His creative side was really enhanced by his move to Melbourne, with friends, in 2009. He was involved with two bands. His own was Tomb Hanx, in which he played keyboard. He supported his friends in another called Drunk Mums. Rhys would often create the band posters as well as album covers.

Rhys’s goal was to get into RMIT and study industrial design, specialising in furniture design. He loved deeply and wrote many beautiful pieces to his partner. He was always in contact with family, particularly his brother and me. He loved the world of art and we had many pieces of his on display following his passing.

When Rhys died, the world lost a beautiful, creative and very talented soul. We lost our world. His love, warmth and quirkiness will be forever missed. I miss our very long and deep conversations about anything and everything. I miss his smile and wit and those beautiful hugs, with his arms softly holding me, letting me know how much he loved and cared for his mother.

Rhys did not deserve the treatment he received from ministers and public servants deciding to implement an illegal scheme. He did not deserve the consistent barrage of debt letters, phone calls, voicemails and texts. He did not deserve the harassment that drove him to an extreme point of despair, to the place where he took his own life.

For the six years since he died, I have been extremely proactive in trying to ascertain how a debt could’ve been raised against Rhys, not realising for some time that these debts were raised from 2010, a time when Rhys was couch-surfing and only had spasmodic casual work. I was also under the impression that Rhys had a “vulnerable indicator” on his file. I was determined to gain access to his records. I requested an inquest through the Coroners Court of Victoria; I wrote to ministers and the ombudsman. At every turn, I was stonewalled.

When the Labor Party won the federal election, I knew that a royal commission would be established. I knew then that I would finally gain further knowledge and hopefully the truth. The commission was able to access Rhys’s file, which confirmed the debt against him was raised through an early form of robo-debt. The investigators were able to progress further, to collate all relevant documents, of which there were more than 8000. Most of these documents were received in a two- to three-week window prior to me being called as a witness this week. The documents were astounding. I was shocked to read of the lengths to which both the Department of Social Services and the Department of Human Services went to ensure everyone stood on the same page with media responses and to all my requests. Truly, the behaviour by government departments was unfathomable to me.

As each of the government witnesses was called, most taking their oath on the Bible, which in itself I found extraordinary, some would then go on to lie and spin as they had to me. Watching and listening to each of these witnesses, at times it was quite distressing for me to hear how callous and inhumane they were.

As more and more evidence came to hand it became clear to me that no one cared, they were only concerned with making themselves look good, making the budget look good prior to elections, having Coalition voters convinced this was a process that had been happening for years, that it was not illegal, that the vulnerable were the ones committing fraud rather than the government. Of course, through all this, they were boosting their own egos and self-importance.

Attending daily, the assumption I make is that ministers and public servants had training in how to answer. I continued to be astounded that not one of these ministers could recall anything or “did not turn my mind” to the significant distress their scheme was causing. Throughout the commission hearings so far, I have been staggered by the documentation and written proof the government had showing the scheme was illegal, which they ignored for years so they could continue raising money from people who often didn’t owe it.

The extraordinary process of questioning is like poetry in motion. It is something to watch senior counsel assisting Justin Greggery, KC, in action, patiently questioning each witness but receiving either incoherent answers or outrageous spin that does not relate to his questions. Throughout this, Greggery continues, changing his questions only slightly, and you watch in awe and you just know he is going to produce the goods with proof, whether it be signed documentation by them, exhibits that clearly define their involvement, or other evidence showing they chose to ignore the warnings and information from both internal and external sources.

The media advisers for the previous Coalition government were relatively forthcoming with some of their answers, but the way they managed the spin to the media was horrendous. The very first interview I gave after Rhys died was with The Saturday Paper. I have now seen all the documents relating to this article and also heard those on the witness stand. The efforts the government made to ensure the truth would never be released was incredible. I could not believe the process that went into deciding to leak Rhys’s personal information. Rachelle Miller, the media adviser for former Human Services minister Alan Tudge, was truly a piece of work on the stand. So was Tudge himself.

To date, all government witnesses called to attend the commission have not once acknowledged their clear involvement in this illegal scheme or taken ownership of their choice to support and implement robo-debt or online compliance intervention. The whole time the scheme was running, they were clearly very confident that welfare recipients, both past and present, would not create a problem or expose the government in any way. The government made the assumption that they were vulnerable. It gave them no phone number to call. It stuck an Australian Federal Police logo on some letters, to drive home the threat. Of course those who relied on welfare for any reason would feel scared by these letters: how were they going to pay mortgages or rent, buy essentials, attend to medical issues or simply keep their heads maybe slightly above water if their payments were cut off as warned? The answer to this is that the prior government did not care.

The personal case witnesses and other lead plaintiffs who took to the stand were the total opposite in their answering of questions. Even if at times we were emotional, we were clear and concise. There were no deflections or “I don’t recalls”. It was honest and heartbreaking and true.

We are now into our final block of witnesses. There are many return public servants who will again be taking the stand. Knowing what we do now, they won’t be able to keep deflecting, denying or offering spin.

Attending the commission has been extremely eye-opening for me, not just because of the evidence being collated over the illegal robo-debt scheme, but in seeing how the previous government was so conniving, so intent on being seen as leaders while throughout the whole process showing themselves to be self-centred narcissists with absolutely no regard for people they thought were below them. Well, we weren’t. We never were.

The way the commissioner, Catherine Holmes, is conducting this royal commission is more than I ever expected. She is no-nonsense and completely in command of the detail. Time and again she cuts to the chase. Her patience at this point is extremely thin and rightly so.

The commissioner has surrounded herself with the very best. Justin Greggery, KC, Angus Scott, KC, and every solicitor and support person involved are truly exceptional. The next two weeks of testimony will be explosive and I will be there, watching them, ensuring they know that myself and others will be there to the very end. We will be looking in the eyes of the people who did this.

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